What is Maturity? - Part 2

I heard someone once describe maturity as 'Living life as we are now, whilst looking to ahead to what we will become.' There has to be a distinction between our present and our future. There are parallels in the Bible. (Eph 4:13; Phil 3:12-15)

1 John 3:2 says 'Beloved, now are we children of God, and it is not yet made manifest what we shall be. We know that, if he shall be manifested, we shall be like him; for we shall see him even as he is.' Put simply although we are not like Christ now, we shall be when he returns. But what does this mean for us now? What are we supposed to do until then?

Philippians 2 shows us that Jesus was able to separate the present from the future. He lived life on earth as a man yet He knew He would be seated in heavenly places at the right hand of God. He had a choice between claiming himself as equal with God, sitting on His laurels and soaking in the praise; or to put aside His future life and humbly serving, swapping the laurels for thorns.

Our journey through maturity presents us with the same choice. Can we live with our feet in the present, with our choices, hearts, words and actions firmly rooted in who we are now, whilst also realising that the best is yet to come?

In Philippians Paul writes about us as citizens of Heaven (Philippians 3:20), that our future is not the same as our present here on earth (vs 21). Yet how can we live as a citizen of Heaven? Paul writes that we can expect three things to continue past this Earth, three things we will find in Heaven: Faith Hope and Love. So to my mind to live as a citizen of Heaven means living with these things in our lives even now here on Earth. We have Faith for the Now, Hope for the Future and Love, the greatest of all that covers the past present and future of both ourselves and of everyone around us.

What is Maturity?

Yesterday's post about quiet confidence got me thinking about maturity. Ive always been fairly mature for my age, and I remember people always commenting on how I looked and acted older than I was. I picked up quite quickly that maturity was one of these 'journey' things, just like everything else in life (so much so its becoming a bit of a cliche...).

Probably the first time I started to understand this was around 15 years old when my youth leader gave me a book, sat me down in a corner and said "Read! And don't look up 'til you've finished!" The book was called Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (great book - If you have read it then I urge you to also read 'Is God Wild at Heart? by Randy Stinson available online at www.cbmw.org/resources/reviews/eldredge_wah_review.php).

Reading this book gave me permission to live my life, permission to be a man at a time in my life when I thought there was no chance of that ever happening. It helped me to understand that maturity isn't about being sensible all the time, being boring. (This was my view of adulthood when I was a kid). Maturity also isn't about putting other people first, or about taking responsibility for your actions. It isn't about the choices we make but its about the very climate we create for our lives to play out in. Its about our focus. (Eph 4:14).

I remember my very first day of sixth-form college. The speech given by the head of college to all the new sixth-formers told the incredible story of 'The Magic Door'.

The Magic Door is a door that exists only in time, standing guard as the only passage between two opposing Worlds. Its power is unrivelled, it is always right and once someone goes through the door they can never go back. It is the door that separates the Land of Childhood from the Land of Adulthood. However the most important thing to understand about the Magic Door is that it doesn't exist...

We will never one day magically transform into the person we always wanted to be: into an adult. There is no door that washes away our naivity, our fears, our past as we walk through, leaving us to continue on in a new life, free from everything that conditioned us in our upbringing.

The apostle Paul understands this well:

'I do not claim that I have already succeeded or have already become perfect. I keep striving to win the prize for which Christ Jesus has already won me to himself. Of course, my friends, I really do not think that I have already won it; the one thing I do, however, is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead. So I run straight toward the goal in order to win the prize, which is God's call through Christ Jesus to the life above. All of us who are spiritually mature should have this same attitude.' (Philippians 3:12-15)

So what is maturity in the face of tough times? To me it comes down to simple choice. I either seek to 'get through' them, or I seek to 'grow through' them.

Quiet Confidence

Ive been reading Isaiah at the moment. So much in the book has spoken to me and often reminds me of some pretty major parts of my life. As a kid growing up I wasn't the most popular. (My current friends will probably say that nothing has changed...) I was never in any one group of friends but just seemed to hang on the fringes of every group in the school. I could talk to the cool kids or the some of the geeky kids, but was never really excepted by either. I hung out with the sporty guys and the music guys, the science guys and the computer guys. I had friends in most year groups in the school but never had a group of friends I could call my own.

The first 3 years of my secondary school life were not great. I felt alone and nervous, I had issues at home and issues in myself (mostly related to girls...) and my way of coping was just to keep quiet and get on with it. I knew I had strength in me but never figured out how to get it out. Part of me always just assumed that in order be confident I had to be loud, extrovert and the centre of everything.

Isaiah shows us that this really isn't the case. Isaiah 30:15 says 'For thus said the Lord Jehovah, the Holy One of Israel, In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.' Its odd that Isaiah put these 2 words in the same sentence, because as I said I always thought that quietness and confidence were total opposites.

It wasn't until I was around 14 or 15 that I started to realise that I had something to offer to the people around me and I didn't have to be on the fringes of everybody else's lives. At the time I was taken on by a few key young men from my church back in Somerset. They took me under their wings when I most needed some strong male guidance and allowed me to see that I was capable, that I mattered and that I had something worthwhile to offer. All of these are key messages for a young lad.

I grew in confidence but was still fairly quiet. I still am today sometimes and I still have a tendancy to hang on the fringes of many groups, but I have a quiet confidence, knowing that God loves me, knowing that people that I love and care for feel the same way and knowing that my life matters.

Ups and downs

So often in life things get a little hard. In fact as an Englishman I have become so good at moaning that Life often has way more downs than ups. Especially in churches we have this bizarre tendancy that when things get a little hard, we stop coming. Even if it's only for a week... Odd.

Here are my thoughts on that:-

When times are good, praise hard. When times are bad, Praise Harder!
When times are good, pray hard. When times are bad, Pray Harder!
When times are good, have faith, based on hope. When times are bad, step up that faith, just focusing on the hope we have in God!
When times are good, love each other with all we have. When things go a little sour, take that love to another level, with generosity and forgiveness.